How to Have More Fun and Why It Matters

There is a common belief among people of all ages that the main obstacle standing between us and a joyful existence is the lack of free time. We tell ourselves that if we had more leisure time — whether through retirement or a vacation or even just an unscheduled long weekend — we would be happier, with no thought or effort required.

You may have discovered this yourself: You work extra hours to “earn” your vacation, only to spend your time at the beach restlessly checking your email. Or you finally retire and are surprised to find that the lack of regular interaction with colleagues leaves you feeling lonely rather than relaxed.

In extreme cases, you might even find yourself experiencing what psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl described, rather dramatically, in his 1946 book, Man’s Search for Meaning, as “Sunday neurosis” — namely, “that kind of depression which afflicts people who become aware of the lack of content in their lives when the rush of the busy week is over and the void within themselves becomes manifest.”

The problem is that most of us haven’t learned how to use our leisure time effectively — and so it ends up feeling boring or unfulfilling rather than satisfying and joyful. So how, exactly, can you learn how to use your leisure time more effectively and avoid falling into an existential void?

You focus on fun.

I know that might sound counterintuitive but hear me out. Despite how often we use the word, most of us have not put much thought into what “fun” actually means — let alone how to have more of it.  

As a result, we often fill our leisure time (and, for that matter, our internal voids!) with activities that have been marketed to us as fun but that, upon reflection, often leave us feeling numb or empty — which is not what most of us are hoping to feel at any time, let alone during supposed leisure.

What is 'fun'?

So how can you use fun to make better choices about how to fill your time? The first step is to become more precise about its definition.

If you look in a dictionary, you’ll find a variety of definitions for “fun,” including “lighthearted pleasure” and “an enjoyable or amusing time.” That may be true, but if you ask others to tell you about an experience that stands out in their memory as having been truly fun, their response will likely suggest something much deeper. Their entire face will light up; by the end of their story, you’ll probably find yourself smiling, too — and, in some cases, you’ll be emotionally moved.

I’ve collected thousands of such anecdotes from people around the world, and I can assure you that in its truest form, fun isn’t just “light-hearted pleasure” or an enjoyable amusement. Instead, the moments in which we truly have fun are the moments in which we feel the most alive.

These anecdotes helped me come up with a new proposed definition of fun that captures its essence and that we can use to make wiser decisions about how to spend our leisure time: Fun is the confluence of playfulness, connection and flow.  

By “playfulness,” I mean a spirit of lightheartedness and freedom — of doing something just for the pleasure of it and not caring too much about the outcome. By “connection,” I’m referring to the feeling of having a special, shared experience with someone (or something) else.

And “flow” is a term used in psychology to describe the state of being fully engaged and focused, often to the point that you lose track of time — think of a riveting conversation or being fully absorbed in a project or game. (It is very different from “junk” flow: the hypnotized state we fall into when we binge-watch TV and look up to find that five hours have passed.)

Playfulness, connection and flow are each enjoyable on their own, not to mention good for both our mental and physical health. And when all three happen at once? We experience what I call “true fun,” a term I use to distinguish it from what I call “fake fun” — namely, activities and products, such as social media and television, that are marketed to us as fun but that, in reality, do not result in the confluence of playfulness, connection or flow. 

Read the full article to learn more about identifying what’s truly fun for you:  https://www.aarp.org/health/healthy-living/info-2021/power-of-fun.html?intcmp=AE-ENT-BOK-BB

By Catherine Price, AARP, December 14, 2021

Catherine Price is a science journalist, founder of ScreenLifeBalance.com and author of several books, including How to Break Up With Your Phone and The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again. 

Image by Paul Stachowiak from Pixabay