The Challenges of Being ‘Sandwiched’
As seniors continue to live longer, more Americans are finding themselves falling into the “sandwich generation”: adults who are caring both for their children and their older relatives at the same time. According to data from the Pew Research Center, twelve percent of parents are part of this demographic – and it will only be getting larger. By 2050, it is estimated that a fifth of the population will be seniors, many of whom will need financial, emotional, and medical support.
The stress from trying to manage both the needs of their children and their parents, as well as financial concerns and limited time, has impacted the sandwich generation everywhere from their careers to their personal relationships. Nearly fifteen percent of Americans in their forties and fifties report that they are the primary financial support for both an aging parent and a child – sometimes even grown children who are unable to fully support themselves. Conversely, as the amount of money needed to invest in family members has risen, caregivers have found themselves less able to work the amount of hours necessary to cover the costs. The same goes for accepting promotions, which can come with relocations and responsibility increases not conducive to elder care.
But it isn’t just money that can cause issues. The time ordinarily invested in marriages, relationships, friendships, and forms of personal enrichment is a sacrifice many adults are finding they have to make. While many feel it is worth it in the end – fifty one percent of members in the sandwich generation report they are happy with their lives overall – the strain of added care can still take a significant toll on one’s emotional health.
One of the major issues when it comes to caring for both one’s children and parents is the basic constraints of time. Seventy percent of America’s seniors say they wish they saw their families more, and ninety percent state they feel healthier and happier after their visits. But between working, taking the kids to soccer practice, and making sure everyone is well taken care of, there simply isn’t always time in the day to spend visiting an elderly loved one.
As bleak as all this may sound, preparation and planning can ease the burden in the long-term. The first step is addressing what health needs seniors in your life may need help with in the future, even if they’re under control now. The impact of chronic ailments such as diabetes, arthritis, or dementia cannot be overstated. It plays a role in what type of assistance a senior may need down the line, or where they are able to receive care. Identifying what may – and likely will – be needed down the line prevents surprises or stress from decision overload.
Just as important is discussing finances. While the subject is uncomfortable for many, addressing it sooner rather than later prevents surprises in the future and allows for identification of viable options. The senior population is predicted to increase by thirty million over the next three decades, which will almost certainly result in a strain on the cost of affordable care and the amount of aid available; preparing for this now by calculating costs and putting away money could make all the difference when the time comes.
Planning when it comes to individual visits can also prove helpful. For families who have limited time but still want to include the seniors in their life, deciding upon a fixed day or time for regular visits can make the process easier to fit into the overall household schedule. If you plan on having a day out, picking out the places you visit or activities you engage in ahead of time means you can make the most out of any outing.
With close to twenty million Americans classified as “in the middle,” the level to which adults today feel responsible for both their children and parents is unprecedented. But, even if it sometimes feel overwhelming, it isn’t an insurmountable task. Help is available from resources such as Choice Connections, and planning and preparation at home can ease some of the individual burden. With time, care, and assistance, it is more possible than ever to live a fulfilling life where taking care of yourself, in addition to others, is no longer impossibility.
Source: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/01/30/the-sandwich-generation/
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