6 Tips to Keep in Mind While Helping Aging Parents

1. Getting old is financially scary

No matter how much money one may have, thinking about covering the expenses associated with aging or dealing with the unknown can be extremely scary. What if your elderly parent doesn't have enough insurance or savings to pay for long term care or a terminal illness such as cancer? Talking to a qualified professional to make sure any possible expenses are covered can be vital.  

2. Talking about changes in life is extremely hard

Talking about moving (whether to downsize or to a find a care facility), losing the ability to drive, or having to budget can be hard subjects for an aging parent to face (actually having to plan for it can be even more overwhelming). Taking small steps with a goal in mind can be very helpful. Writing down every step needed and crossing them off as goals are met can make it easier to complete each step, even if it seems to make the list of tasks to complete even longer. Meeting with a financial planner, senior care advisor like Choice Connections, or insurance professional can be the first step to creating these lists.

3. Aging parents are often in denial

Adjusting to circumstances caused by aging can cause a lapse of judgment including denial. Thinking about possible illness, moving, finances, and mortality can be overwhelming. To an aging parent, they may think they have many years ahead of them to complete goals, spend time with grandchildren, and plan for long term care. Remind them that it is in their best interest and the interest of family that they plan. It will also help them reach their goals of possibly traveling, early retirement, retirement in general, buying a vacation home, etc. Early planning will ensure their needs, wants and desires are fulfilled without interference from family or the government. Broach any topic lightheartedly and with ease, this may help an aging parent feel non-threatened and elevate the denial they may feel.

4. Asking for help or even thinking about it can overwhelming

There are certain things no one wants to lose no matter how old they are. No one wants to hear that they cannot drive, they shouldn't live in their home by themselves or that they cannot perform tasks that many people their age and/or older may be able to fulfill without issue. Many people don't realize how important their freedom is until they lose it or when the loss is eminent. Assisting your aging parent as they lose one freedom to the next can be hard; they may not see that the new-adjusted lifestyle chosen for them is a good one. But helping them put it into perspective by showing them how much they are cared for and how you are concerned for their health and safety will certainly help.

5. Patience is key

Transitioning into new phases of life can be hard. Please be patient with your aging parents. Remember they were patient with you when you were learning to walk, talk, eat with your mouth closed, and so much more.

6. Plan for the worst, hope for the best

When planning with an aging parent, gracefully plan for worst case scenarios, such as needing an estate plan, power of attorney, or financing for long term care from a facility or a family member. Planning early can help relieve possible stresses which may happen. Approach the subject with a light touch.  

Source:  National Care Planning Council

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