How to Cope With Caregiver Burnout

How to Cope With Caregiver BurnoutBy Claudia Fine

Caring for someone can take a lot out of you — physically, mentally and emotionally — but it doesn’t have to cause caregiver burnout. Learn more about the warning signs of caregiver burnout, and find out how to handle caregiver-related stress.

A Portrait of the Burned–Out Caregiver

Your parent, spouse or friend has a chronic illness. They are very private and independent, and insist they do not need any help to care for themselves and their household. But you can see how painful and difficult it is for them to lift objects, stand for long periods or move between rooms.

When you visit, you end up cleaning, running errands and wearing yourself out, instead of spending quality time with them, and they won’t leave the house without you by their side. They do have good days, but on the bad days you are exhausted.

Warning Signs of Caregiver Burnout

You may be burned out if you:

• Can’t seem to relax

• Experience a change in eating habits

• Have trouble sleeping

• Feel helpless, sad or angry

• Lose your temper and patience, or feel anger or resentment toward the person you’re caring for

• Are losing interest in your favorite hobbies

4 Ways to Deal With Caregiver Burnout

1. Remember That No One Wants You to be Exhausted! What would your loved one say if they knew how worried and exhausted you were? What if they knew you were on the brink of caregiver burnout? Caregiving is both mentally and physically stressful, and caregivers are considered to be at increased risk for physical health problems and depression. Most friends and family members — despite their pride — don’t want to be a “burden” on their loved ones, and if they are wearing you down, they’ll want you to get the help you need.

2. Accept Help — Even if You Don’t Want to. Oftentimes, we don’t take help from our friends and family members, even when we really need to. My mother, for example, used to remind me that, although she wasn’t well, she (and not me) was still the mother! Although it may be difficult to accept, sometimes we just need to accept help where we can.

3. Get an Objective Outsider to Provide Expert Advice. Consider speaking with your loved one’s physician prior to a visit and expressing your concerns about being at risk for caregiver burnout. You could also ask the physician to recommend a care manager in your area. Afterwards, the doctor could discuss alternative care options with your loved one to ensure that they stay independent and able in their own home.

4. Sometimes You Just Need to Draw the Line. Respecting your loved one’s privacy and independence is essential in preventing caregiver burnout. However, if your loved one is too demanding and you’re constantly at their beck and call, then you need help for yourself. Talk to an expert to know where to draw the line. An expert can also discuss alternative care options that are more suitable for both you and your loved one.